F

There are days like today when I feel like I have totally failed as a mother.

 

Today, Ash had a playdate with two of her classmates at our house. The date started out fine, they had fun and everyone behaved. However somehow sometime during this playdate that Ash started to feel unhappy. She started to not wanting to share and everything went downhill from there. Whining, screaming and crying were happening every 15 minutes. She had to have two timeouts in her room just so that she can be separated from her guests. Whom at this point, their parents were feeling uneasy and uncomfortable. That's when I informed them that I see her screaming as background noise and I just wait it out.

 

I can tell from body languages and subtle uncomfortable glances that they want out. So after about 40 minutes of her display of a 'great hostess', they decided to leave.

 

My embarrassment and disappointment was so much so that I couldn't even get myself to speak to anyone after their departure. But of course, her screaming and crying did not stop just because the kids left. I then placed her in the nearest corner and told her to sit there until I tell her she can go (in essence, a timeout) because she wouldn't stop screaming. As a true 'Ashley' display of her stubbornness, she screamed and cried until she vomits ... which then I proceeded to let her sit in the vomit until the crying died down. Then I silently cleaned up the mess, changed her, and sent her off to her room for her nap ... an hour earlier than her normal schedule.

 

Let's just say, I doubt that we'll be having any more playdates with those two anytime soon. I won't even know how to act when I see them again in school or in Ashley's ballet class.

 

I truly felt today that I had failed as a mother.