Lately, I feel like the worst Mom ever.
Yes, I took care of the logistics of raising children. I feed them, bathe them, put them to bed. But since the birth of baby, I feel like I have neglected certain parts of being a good Mom to Ash.
For example, I constantly feel like I'm disciplining her or getting mad at her. Is it just her being more defiant due to age? Is it because of losing her place of being the only child? Is it just me... over loaded and unable to spend more time with her?
I also feel like I haven't really spend too much time educating her. Before, we would spend endless hours going through her alphabets, reading, drawing, doing crafts. Now... not so much. Every weekday, I pick them up from day care and we would systematically go through the routine of cooking, feeding, bathing, and go to bed. We don't have the luxury of fun time anymore.
Today, what made me feel even worse... I have yet AGAIN forgot her 'sharing day' at school. This is the last one ever for her preschool and I have forgotten it. I think for this school year, I only remembered like 3 to 4 sharing days... and probably all in the beginning. We even talked about it the night before about what she would like to do and share... and I totally forgot it.
I am the worst Mom EVER.
I have let my busy life take over.
I have neglected my princess.
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3 comments:
Oh Agnes, don't be so hard on yourself. Please! I know I had moments when I thought my son's prevalent memory would be of my contorted face talking to him in a not nice way. And my son was always an only child.
Here's my only mom advice: When you talk about it the night before, do it the night before. Get it ready, and put it by the door, in her backpack, whatever.
You just blogged about the zoo, crafts you do, a preschool function--how can you be the worst mom ever?
You work full-time and are the mom of two small girls. You're married and work on that relationship too. Don't lower your expectations, but do cut yourself some slack when you err. You haven't scarred her for life. Don't scar you for life either!
I have moments of feeling like this too. The only remedy I think is taking some special time on the weekend or when you can.
Someone once told me (you?) that it really is not the quantity time but the quality. If fifteen minutes of each day she gets your undivided attention for anything, that is meaningful.
We can't stop needing to work. We can't stop needing time to ourselves. We can't stop needing to cook dinner, get them bathed, all of those things. And sometimes, I know I just want to get all of the tasks DONE so I can finally rest. But if I remember along the way we have lots of fun during the process. Like lately, June loves rinsing the dishes at the sink as I wash them. It's a small thing, but it helps.
Good luck. Plan a great outing or something and relax. You are the best mom Ashley could have and the only one she wants.
I am sure you are not the worst mom ever! Sometimes it can be really hard and it's plain impossible to everything!
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